My job doesn't end at 5pm, or at 7pm, or when I close my eyes for sleep. My job is a constant job. It is waking up at 3am to those cries in the dark of the night. It's changing diapers at all hours of the day. It is a morning Facebook break before she makes that first morning cry signaling the start of the day. I have seen every hour of the day and night; that is my job.
My job is boring. It consists of boring chores that fill my hours, grocery shopping trips, and sometimes of reading magazines when I get some down time. It can be fun, though. When the weather is good, the swings look inviting, or sitting on a blanket in the grass, watching the leaves rustle in the trees, is all we need. My job is trips to the pool, walks around the park, and rolling around the living room playing with different toys and singing different songs.
But in the midst of the craziness, of the naptime tears and struggles, of the dirty diapers, dishes and dog, there are those moment of fresh air. Those moments when she gives me that smile, or when she laughs at the dog with the cutest baby laugh. Those moments of pure joy when time just stops and I realize I'm raising a little person.
What a privilege it is to have this job. What a privilege it is to watch this baby grow from a tiny cell inside my body to a living, breathing, person who moves and watches and learns, who understands even the littlest things. What a privilege it is to spend every moment of my day, no matter how frustrating it is, within a safe distance of this baby, to be able to attend to her attend to her every need, if she requires it. What a privilege to have a person rely on you so much for everything. What a privilege.
It has been nothing and everything I expected.