Today, I feel like a bad mommy. I'm getting so frustrated with this little baby of mine and I know I shouldn't. It's not her fault she isn't sleeping well, I know she's trying.
This weekend was rough. On Friday, she slept good. Well, good as in she finally fell asleep by 10pm, slept until about 3am, and then slept until 7:30am. That was nice. Saturday was bad. We put her down before 9, but then she decided to get up around 10:30 and stay up until midnight. I let Brandon sleep so he could take the morning shift and I sat on the couch with her. She managed to put herself to sleep on the couch, slept until 3:30 and then again until about 7. But I was TIRED.
Last night, she had a rough time falling asleep at first for her nightly nap. She went down at 7:45 finally, woke up at about 9, I fed her, changed her, and rocked her to sleep again. She woke up half an hour later, I rocked her some more, and she slept until midnight. And then until 2am. And then until 3:30am. I finally pulled her into bed, she slept until 5:30am, woke up crying, I rocked her some more, put her in her own bed, slept until 7:30...
This is even worse than when she was a newborn! I think that is what's frustrating me the most. When she was a newborn, it was simple - feed her, rock her, she eventually slept. Now, I try to rock her, she struggles. I tried swaddling, she struggles. I think, maybe she's hungry, but then she doesn't eat much. It's affecting her daytime naps too.
I know she needs to nap and sleep. I'm hoping this is all because she's starting to teethe. I just hate that I can't figure out exactly what she wants from me, you know? I feel bad because I sorta dread when she's awake because soon, I have to struggle to put her down for a nap. When she's awake, I just want to lay her down on her playmat so I can do other stuff. When she's asleep, I just veg on the couch. All because I'm so tired.
Don't worry, I'm just complaining a bit here, not seeking advice. I do look forward to the fun moments she has these days. The talking, the grabbing toys, the dancing... those melt my heart!
And really, look how cute this baby is. My Little Canuck!