I didn’t know I had Postpartum Anxiety/OCD


I had a feeling that something was wrong with me, but I couldn’t pinpoint it. Actually, now that I’m nearly three years into being a mom and through the fog of my weaning-induced post-partum depression, I can look retrospectively over my actions, my feelings, and the hardest couple of years for me. I thought what I was feeling was normal. At first, in those early weeks of having a newborn where sleep was rare and I was recovering from a major surgery, I chalked up my thoughts and emotions to [Continue Reading…]

December Babies: How to Deal with Birthdays & Holidays


December is Coming. Second only to September in our family, which is a month full of birthdays (four of which are within a week of each other), December is a very busy month in the family. Three people have birthdays within five days – Brandon’s mom, my niece Claire, and of course, Penny – and then bam! Christmas. December is such an exciting month but since Penny came along, it’s taken a bit of logistics to get it down. I was a bit sad to have a December baby, to [Continue Reading…]

Actually, I’m not hoping for a boy.

When I was first pregnant with Penny, I just knew I was having a boy. I mean, all my friends were having boys, so I figured I would follow the trend. I wanted a boy too. Being the third of four girls and the tomboy of the bunch, I had always wanted a boy. It just made sense. We had a boy name picked out early on and started talking about our future with this little boy of ours. And then they told me it was a girl. Huh. Well, I thought, of course [Continue Reading…]

Dear Penny: You’re Weird (52 Week Project: Weeks 37-40)

October 25 - It's Halloween week! Penny had to take photos in her costume... or at least, it's PROBABLY her costume. She has other dresses to choose from!

Dear Penny, You’re going to be weird. I’m adding that word to the big list of descriptive words I keep for you – sassy, strong-willed, spirited, crazy smart, busy, wild, fearless, weird. And I mean it in the best possible way because girl, you come from two weirdos yourself. You’re just destined for weirdness. Don’t let the word weird hold you back, though. I had days growing up when that was all I felt. I was different from the other kids and it bothered me. Why did I think differently than them? Why [Continue Reading…]

Dreams. Hopes. Realities.

Thanks to everyone who stopped by to read last Friday’s post. I was feeling a bit fired after after a less-than-ideal birth I attended, at a hospital I just don’t like, and had to get those words out. I stand by everything I said. This year of being a doula has taught me a lot of things about myself and about birth. Not the mechanics, either, but the intricacies of the process. The hospital choices, the education required, the simplicity of birth, and the strength of women and couples. Every [Continue Reading…]

The System Failed You


Your birth was not a failure. The system failed you. Your body didn’t fail you because you didn’t dilate at a certain rate or past a certain point. The system failed you because it follows an outdated, incorrect chart that requires you to dilate a certain amount every hour. You are not a machine, you do not follow charts, because you are a unique human being and so is your baby. There are a hundred changes going on during birth and dilation is just one of those. Your body didn’t [Continue Reading…]

Korea and the Bad Air


I love it here in Korea. There are so many perks about this country that I still haven’t gotten sick of it yet. But there’s one thing that just downright sucks: The air quality. There’s no way of getting around it. I was vaguely aware of this thing called “yellow dust” before moving here, but I still wasn’t sure what it meant until I experienced it. In fact, after being here for a year, I can tell you what yellow dust means, polluted air, and how important a clear day can [Continue Reading…]

I deleted the Facebook app, and it was amazing


  A couple weeks ago, I was lying in bed unable to sleep, my mind going a mile a minute. For some reason I was thinking about my Facebook app and my undeniable addiction to opening it. I just didn’t want to be tied to it anymore, I was just done, and I thought, I could just delete it. Could I? Truly? What was holding me back, anyway? It’s silly to think that I had such a connection to a phone app of all things. Most days, I like Facebook. I like [Continue Reading…]

Christmas Cards – Get it done!


So I was more bummed last year than I thought I would be when we didn’t send out Christmas cards. Circumstances did lend well to it… you know, moving to Korea in early December, not moving into our apartment until early January, no actually address until mid-December. I had given up on the dream and I was okay… until I started getting beautiful cards in the mail from others. Boo. I wanted to send cards out toooooo. It’s funny, because I honestly wasn’t even thinking about Christmas cards until Minted approached [Continue Reading…]

{True Story: Second Pregnancy} The Duck in my Belly


A couple weeks ago we went to see the giant duck display with some of our friends. It was a full morning of riding the bus, locating the duck, having a picnic, and wandering around the new Lotte Mall. Which is amazing, by the way, and I want to go back when Penny isn’t grumpy and I’m feeling good. I was just shy of 6 weeks but goodness, the day took it out of me. I was in pain! And now, I have a morning sickness hangover because yesterday did [Continue Reading…]